Have you ever felt like you’re racing through life, trying to keep up with expectations that don’t truly serve you? In a world constantly shouting for our attention, we lose sight of the beauty in slowing down. What if peace and clarity lie not in doing more, but in doing less?
Introduction
In a world obsessed with productivity, we’re constantly being told that more is better, faster is ideal, and there’s always something we’re behind on. Our to-do lists, inboxes, and notifications fuel this sense of urgency that weighs us down. But is this way of living sustainable—or even necessary? The reality is, that the urgency culture we’ve come to accept does more harm than good. It feeds anxiety, burns us out, and leaves us disconnected from the present moment. What if the key to unlocking peace and true fulfillment lies in slowing down?
The Pressure to Perform
Let’s start by acknowledging something we’ve all felt: the relentless need to stay on top of everything. Many of us, especially women, have been conditioned to believe that success looks like juggling multiple tasks, always being available, and meeting everyone’s expectations—whether that’s at work, in relationships, or even through social media. For women, this pressure often extends to emotional labor, where we feel responsible for keeping things running smoothly, both at home and in the workplace. The invisible to-do lists we carry can become overwhelming. We fear that if we drop just one ball, everything will unravel.
How many times have you felt the urge to immediately respond to that email or text? You may feel a subtle feeling of guilt or anxiety if you don’t. Maybe you worry that people will think you’re unprofessional, unorganized, or worse, uncaring. That fear of judgment runs deep, and it’s magnified by the digital world we live in, where everything is instant and we’re expected to be too. This pressure to perform, to show up at every moment, leaves us running on empty.
But here’s the question: Is this fear valid? Or have we internalized society’s obsession with constant productivity and accessibility at the expense of our well-being?
FOMO and the Fear of Not Responding
One of the driving forces behind this urgency is the fear of missing out (FOMO). It’s not just about missing an event or opportunity—it’s the fear of missing out on connection, being out of the loop, or falling behind. In many cases, FOMO extends beyond social experiences and infiltrates our professional lives. We fear that if we don’t respond quickly enough, we’ll miss a chance to prove ourselves, secure a promotion, or be seen as reliable and competent.
But the truth is, this fear is often self-imposed. While some deadlines are real, many of the pressures we feel come from within. In reality, people are far more forgiving than we allow ourselves to believe. Most importantly, living in a constant state of urgency does more harm than good, not only to our mental health but also to our bodies.
The Physiology of Stress: The Hippocampus and Cortisol
Chronic stress, driven by this constant pressure to perform, has real and damaging physiological effects—particularly on the brain. The hippocampus, a vital part of the brain responsible for memory and learning, is especially vulnerable to heightened levels of cortisol—the stress hormone. Dr. Robert Sapolsky, a leading neuroendocrinologist, has extensively researched the impact of stress on the hippocampus. When our bodies are in a prolonged state of stress, our adrenal glands produce cortisol. In small doses, cortisol can be helpful—it primes us to respond to immediate challenges. But when cortisol levels remain elevated over time, it leads to significant damage in the hippocampus. So why am I mentioning the hippocampus?
The hippocampus is responsible for converting short-term memories into long-term ones, as well as spatial navigation. Elevated cortisol interferes with this process, leading to memory problems, difficulties with focus, and even symptoms of depression and anxiety. Over time, the hippocampus can shrink due to the effects of chronic stress, making it harder to process information and recall memories (Sapolsky, 2004). This isn’t just an abstract concept, it’s something that many of us experience in small, daily moments. Have you ever found yourself struggling to remember something simple, feeling mentally foggy, or having trouble concentrating on tasks you used to breeze through? That may be the hippocampus under stress.
Recognizing the Signs of Chronic Stress
We might not always realize we’re stuck in this state of urgency until the signs start to show up in our bodies and minds. Here are some common symptoms of chronic stress and heightened cortisol levels that can serve as red flags:
Mental Fog and Memory Lapses: You may notice that you're more forgetful than usual, struggling to retain new information, or finding it hard to focus. This is a classic sign that the hippocampus is struggling under the weight of stress.
Difficulty Sleeping: Sleep disturbances are one of the earliest indicators of elevated cortisol. If you find it hard to fall asleep, stay asleep, or wake up feeling unrested, it could be due to stress hormones flooding your system at night.
Mood Swings and Anxiety: Heightened cortisol doesn’t just affect your body—it affects your emotions too. You may notice yourself feeling more irritable, anxious, or on edge, even when there’s no obvious reason for it. This happens because cortisol can trigger the brain’s fight-or-flight response, making you feel like you're in a constant state of emergency.
Physical Fatigue: Chronic stress drains your energy reserves. If you’re constantly feeling exhausted, even after a full night’s sleep, it might be because your body is overproducing cortisol, leaving you stuck in a state of hyperarousal.
Digestive Issues: Stress doesn’t only impact the mind—it can also wreak havoc on the gut. Cortisol affects the digestive system, often leading to symptoms like indigestion, bloating, or changes in appetite.
Lowered Immunity: If you find yourself catching colds or other illnesses more frequently than usual, chronic stress might be weakening your immune system. Elevated cortisol levels suppress immune function, leaving you more vulnerable to infections.
A Personal Moment of Clarity
There was a time in my life when I was overwhelmed by a mountain of responsibilities: working as a special needs educator, studying for my degree, planning a wedding, and preparing for exams. While each of these was meaningful and exciting in its own way, it didn’t feel like it at the time. I had convinced myself that I needed to keep up with everything and that any delay would set me back in ways I couldn’t recover from. The pressure was overwhelming, but I pushed through, ignoring the signs that my body was sending me. I couldn’t stop—not when so much was at stake.
Then, the day before my developmental psychology exam, my body gave in. I was admitted to the hospital for anxiety and panic attacks. My body, after trying to carry me through for so long, had finally said “Enough!”
What made this decision even harder wasn’t just the internal pressure, but the fear of how others would see me. I didn’t want people to think I had failed. I had built up this image of myself as someone who could handle it all, who could meet every deadline, keep every promise, and live up to every expectation, both my own and everyone else’s. If I slowed down, if I didn’t write that exam, what would they think of me? In my mind, waiting a few months to sit for the supplementary exams seemed terrifying—far scarier than it actually was. I was consumed by the fear of disappointing the people who were ‘watching’ me.
In the end, I made the difficult choice not to sit for any of my exams during that time. Instead, I opted to write the supplementary exams for all my modules. And while that decision felt like the end of the world at the moment, it wasn’t. Those extra months gave me something invaluable: time to heal. I used that time to go to therapy and work on myself, which is where my journey with mindfulness truly began.
It wasn’t easy to let go of the urgency I’d built up in my mind. But here’s the thing: I still finished my degree. It took longer than I had originally planned, but I got there, even though I had to slow down. That moment taught me that the deadlines and expectations I had set for myself were not as rigid as I believed. The world didn’t collapse when I paused. In fact, slowing down was what ultimately allowed me to move forward, not just with my degree, but with my mental and emotional well-being.
I’m sharing this vulnerable moment with you to encourage reflection on your own journey. What are the pressures weighing on you that make it feel impossible to slow down? How might your life shift if you allowed yourself the time and space to breathe, to pause, and to trust that things will come together when they’re meant to?
The Cost of Constant Urgency
Urgency culture robs us of the present moment. It convinces us that our worth is tied to how fast we can respond, how much we can produce, and how available we are to others. Yet, ironically, the more we chase productivity, the less connected we feel—to ourselves, to our loved ones, and to life itself.
Anxiety thrives in this environment. According to the American Psychological Association (APA), chronic stress can lead to long-term health problems such as cardiovascular disease, hypertension, and mental health disorders like anxiety and depression (APA, 2017). Our bodies simply aren’t designed to be in a constant state of alertness, and when we don’t take the time to rest and restore, we pay the price physically, mentally, and emotionally.
The work of Dr. Hans Selye, one of the pioneers in stress research, introduced the concept of the General Adaptation Syndrome (GAS), which highlights how prolonged exposure to stress can wear down the body’s resources, leading to burnout and illness (Selye, 1956).
Breaking the Cycle: Reclaiming Your Peace
So, how do we break free from the cycle of urgency? It starts by recognizing that not everything demands our immediate attention. That email? It can wait. That text message? It’ll still be there later. We need to redefine what’s truly important and set boundaries around our time.
Here are a few steps you can take to reclaim your peace:
Create boundaries around your availability: Set specific times during the day to check emails or messages. Outside of those times, give yourself permission to be unavailable.
Embrace the power of saying ‘no’: You don’t have to accept every invitation, project, or request that comes your way. Saying no is an act of self-care and a way to protect your energy.
Schedule downtime: Just as you would schedule a meeting or a workout, schedule time for rest. Whether it’s 15 minutes of deep breathing or an entire day off, make it a priority.
Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness helps you stay present in the moment, rather than constantly worrying about what comes next. Research from Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn, a mindfulness expert, has shown that regular mindfulness practice reduces stress and anxiety and increases feelings of well-being (Kabat-Zinn, 1994).
Let go of guilt: One of the biggest challenges is learning to slow down without feeling guilty. Remind yourself that your worth isn’t determined by how much you produce, and that rest is not only okay—it’s necessary.
The Strength in Slowing Down
There’s a misconception that slowing down is a sign of weakness or laziness. But in reality, it takes incredible strength to pause, to rest, and to be intentional about where you direct your energy. Slowing down isn’t about doing less—it’s about doing what matters with clarity and presence.
In a world that’s always moving, choosing to slow down is a radical act of self-care. It’s a way to honor your health, your peace, and your humanity. The more you practice stepping away from urgency culture, the more you’ll find that the world keeps turning—and you’re able to show up as your best, most authentic self.
Conclusion
Urgency culture may be the norm, but it doesn’t have to be your reality. You have the power to decide what deserves your time and energy, and what can wait. By slowing down, you’re not just protecting your nervous system—you are reclaiming your life. The next time you feel the pull of urgency, remember: your peace is worth more than someone else’s expectations. Let go, slow down, and watch as life unfolds in ways that nourish you from the inside out.
References
American Psychological Association. (2017). Stress and its effects on the body.
Kabat-Zinn, J. (1994). Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life. Hyperion.
Sapolsky, R. (2004). Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers. Holt Paperbacks.
Selye, H. (1956). The Stress of Life. McGraw-Hill.
Selye, H. (1976). The Stress Concept. Sage Publications.
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